I am Judas

Being Palm Sunday, pretty much every Christian church Gospel readings and sermons will be about Christ's entry into Jerusalem.  He was going to celebrate the Passover, knowing all the time he was heading for crucifiction, death, and more....but that's next week.

I started thinking about Judas.  This was the disciple who ended up "selling out" Jesus to the authorities for 30 pieces of silver (that's where the term "blood money" comes  from by the way).  Judas would leave the Passover meal early to find the religious elite and take them to where Jesus went after dinner, the garden of Gethsemane.

Judas told those who would arrest Jesus, "the man I kiss on the cheek is Jesus".  Well, the rest of this story is for Easter weekend.  We'll focus on Judas now.

Judas had some issues from the beginning.  He was the one who held the disciple's money bag, for offerings they received to help the poor.  Only sometimes Judas would help himself to some cash.  I guess he figured he "deserved" a little bit.  Sometimes I feel I "deserve" an early departure from work, or a longer lunch, I work hard....

Judas really got cheesed when a woman of low status (we might say not only had she been around the block a few times but that the street might have been named after her) took some very expensive perfume, probably her only possession of worth, and poured it on Jesus' hair.  Judas thought it was a waste, "that perfume was worth a year's salary, it could have been sold and used for the poor".  Judas probably was thinking how much he would have made on the deal.  I get jealous sometimes when I think someone got a better deal than me, even when I think I "deserved" more.

See, Judas followed Jesus because he heard Jesus was "King of the Jews".  He thought Jesus came as a warrior king, to kick the Romans out of Israel and become the reigning monarch of the nation.  Judas did not so much have a taste for war but for the spoils of war.  He thought of living in palaces with the new king, sharing riches of the kingdom, being a "big shot".  When Jesus came as a humble servant, preaching peace, speaking about being a humble servant, and turning the other cheek when someone insults you, Judas became disillusioned.  He figured he could make some money selling out this Jesus.  I've taken jobs for the promises of extra money, status, etc. even when the job I had treated me well and paid me fairly; and I certainly remember that when you just "go for the money" you end up working with people who don't necessarily care for you, but ONLY what you produce.  And it's an empty feeling.

Judas never really believed that Jesus was who He said He is, "I and the Father are One".  Judas was looking for fame and fortune, the spoils of war, riches of a king, status of the "upper crust".  It was only after betraying Jesus did Judas go back to the religious leaders, throwing their money back at them.  With the money, a field was purchased to bury poor people, since those pious religious people couldn't hold on to this blood money.  Judas, who would hang himself in guilt, would end up in that field.  Sometimes I wish I could take back things I've said or done that have negatively affected others.  But what is done is done.

I look at myself, a proclaimed Christian.  I think of how I dreamed of winning the most recent $640 million jackpot to live in a bigger better home with a bigger better car and not have to work anymore.  I remember the times I have done EXACTLY the opposite of what Jesus would do, either because I didn't want to miss out on some fun, or miss out on an event, or miss out on making fun or sport of someone.  I think of the times when I want so much to live in a "mansion" or in some tropical paradise, or be some famous writer or speaker or something.  Then I think of how little that matters. 

The real payoff is after this life is over.  Eternity is a long time.  This life is fairly short.  If I can only take hold of that hope of eternity in a place where there is no sorrow, no pain, no disappointment.  A place where there is no racisim, no sexisim, no pressure to keep up with the Jones' and no dog-eat-dog mentality.  Just peace, joy, love in the presence of the Lord whose only desire is that you trust in Him and trust Him at his Word.

Judas never got it, until it was probably too late for him.  I sometimes am Judas, when I put my selfish desires above those of the Father, and above those around me who deserve something better than a selfish father, friend, co-worker or boss. 

When life seems like it's tough to take, maybe it's because I'm trying to go my own way, instead of the way of the Father.  And I know His way is great; I know when I do follow His ways my life is much more complete and peaceful; even when trouble or sorrow or pain come my way, He makes it easier, because He is always with me.  My journey from here on out?  To follow Christ even to the cross, because eternity with Him trumps anything this world has to offer.